Local police departments provided the following reports. In all incidents where an arrest occurred, a charge is merely an accusation and not evidence of guilt.

Kiss your valuables goodbye

A woman reported $17,770 worth of antiques was stolen from her Skokie storage locker, including a Gene Simmons doll.

“You said you wanted a little brother”

Northbrook police said a Wilmette woman placed several items of lingerie in various areas of her child’s stroller and attempted to leave Nordstrom Rack without paying for them.

The customer is always aggressive?

A man threatened physical harm to a female employee of a Morton Grove business if she didn’t give him a discount on his purchase.

Emoticon use now officially out of control

Twelve trees in Wilmette were sprayed painted with orange colored smiley faces. This is the second tree-related crime in the area in as many weeks.

The blurred line between office supplies and party favors

Management at Kraft Foods in Northfield informed an ex-employee that he needed to return his company laptop, or they'd report it as stolen. After several unsuccessful attempts to reach him, they reported it to the police. Officers were able to contact him, and he returned the computer.

Orderly now forced to ask patients to lie down on copier machine

A Des Plaines nursing home reporting that a portable X-ray machine, estimated at $14,000, was missing.