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The Sticker Generation
We’ve raised the next generation with charts full of stars, smiley faces and rewards for doing things they are supposed to do.
At work, I am constantly finding myself in a mental tug of war between two sides of a generation gap. I’ve tried just letting go of the rope and surrendering to what I call “The Sticker Generation," but something always makes me crawl back through the mud to the comfort of Generation X.
I am 20 years older than all of my coworkers. While I don’t really notice too much difference in work ethics, the way we go about getting things done gives me serious case of sticker shock.
Being born to the “Because I Said So” generation, we X-ers generally know what was expected of us since our parents were more no-nonsense, “do this or else” kind of people. Most of the time, I wasn’t even sure what the “or else” was and I never found out because it didn’t occur to me not to comply.
That’s just the way it was and it’s the opposite mentality of the Sticker Generation. We X-ers didn’t get stickers or candy for doing the right thing. Our motivation was to avoid the “or else,” and for the most part, it worked.
For example, I was raised to believe that one’s incentive to work is to receive a paycheck.
At my very first job, I made $3.15 an hour and in the days before cash register scanners, my boss required us to memorize the prices on that week’s extensive sale flyer because it was too time consuming to re-tag all of the items with those pricing guns. I still have nightmares about the jumbo-sized back to school issue.
If you didn’t memorize the flyer, the “or else” kicked in and you got fired. If your cash drawer was short, you got fired. If you didn’t do everything else your boss wanted you to do? Fired. You get the idea.
As your reward, if you didn’t get fired, you got a paycheck. That’s all there was to it. Simple.
When Generation X reached adolescence and revolted against “because I said so,” I think we may have gone a little overboard and turned Generations Y and Z (The Sticker Generation) into accolade addicts.
We’ve raised the next generation with charts full of stars, smiley faces and rewards for doing things they are supposed to do.
We X-ers should have thought this through a little better and realized that one day, we might just have to work in this maniacal environment.
For the first time in 30 years of employment, I have a “sticker chart” on the wall (ok, we use pushpins) showing my progress toward the completion of goals. There’s also incentives like baseball games, hotel stays and spa days to be won simply for doing the job I am paid to do.
The downside to the incentives is that you have to want them, I suppose. The thought of having hot flashes while sweltering under the hot sun in order to watch a game that I have zero interest in watching doesn’t really make me want to complete my assigned goals. In fact, it kind of has the opposite effect since I have to come up with excuses as to why I wouldn’t want to celebrate my successes in this manner without hurting anyone’s feelings.
The Stickers are encouraged by little signs that quip “Be Amazing Today!” (what does that mean?) and spend a lot of time wondering how they can be better, be all that they can be or be remarkable in some way. They’re are also quite fond of “Go Team, Go!” meetings and inspirational stories, quotes and role playing scenarios.
Perhaps my “X” age is showing, but when I think of role playing, it isn’t potential customer scenarios that immediately jump into my mind. When I hear quotes, I want to stomp my foot and yell “I already know what Mother Teresa, Einstein and JFK said, what is it that you have to say?”
I want to tell The Stickers that you should be happy with what you do without prizes or rewards. They shouldn’t need post-it notes to remind them to be astounding and sometimes no matter how much blood, sweat and tears they put into something, they will not receive remuneration in a tangible form.
If that were the case, we moms would be all be sitting on a beach, glistening in diamonds and counting our millions instead of going to work every day and wondering whatever made us think it was a good idea to host a party because our kid went potty.
As a Generation X-er, I accept full responsibility for my actions that led to this madness and it’s up to me to straighten them out. At the next meeting, I will reintroduce a quote that inspired millions of Generation X-ers years ago. Three little words that summed up the sentiment behind “Because I Said So” and “or else” quite effectively...
“Just Do It!”
I don’t know who said it, but you have to fight fire with fire, no?
What do you think? Do you think that we X-ers overdid it and turned the next generation into accolade addicts? What things give you “sticker shock?”
Tell us in the comments.
Thanks. We'll email you the next time we update this story.
Corina Andronache
7:29 am on Sunday, June 19, 2011
Oh, Jessica I have been through "because I said so" when I grew up. And I have experienced the "or else" in full measure...I knew want was expected of me to do and I did it, mostly because I was afraid of "or else." I did grow up to be tame, without much voice until later on, when I've decided how things will be because "I say so" in my own life. Unlike us, the young people today expect accolades for the things they are supposed to do. Be polite, say thank you after a meal, put the dishes in the sink (at least) say good morning, fix their bed, brush their teeth, help carry bags of groceries. I am astonished at what I see...Since I don't have children is hard to say how I would have raised my children. What I see happening is the inability of the young people to differentiate between sacred and profane. Nothing is sacred, everything is so easy to procure...Loss of meaning...I have seen parents who pay their children when they help carrying grocery bags from the car in the house. What's going to happen to these children when life will show them that you don't get rewarded in that order? I believe it is a question of values. What do you think? Thank you, Jessica
Jessica Sieghart
11:10 am on Sunday, June 19, 2011
Corina, "because I said so" and "or else" were a sign of the times. My parents used to threaten "or else" all the time, but rarely did it ever come to that. I admit, I raised my kids with some sticker mentality, although not to the extent in some things I've witnessed. I suppose my personal version of "I told you so" is "because you live here". It's less bossy, but it gets the point across :) I'm not sure how some who thrive on constant rewards will function when one isn't there. I also wonder how they will handle the inevitable tragedies of life. It's something to ponder. Thanks for your thoughtful comment, Corina.
lesley
11:31 am on Sunday, June 19, 2011
Another hot button,i don't call them the sticker generation(very clever i might add)i call them "the everybody gets a trophy generation"wich started when my son played little league. I was in shock when at the end of the season everyone was awarded a throphy no matter what your effort.Like you i am from the same generation and not only heard the same reasons as why i should do things,but also lifes not fair and the fair only comes to town once a year.I have not raised my children with the praverbial carrot before thier nose.I have raised them how i was raised,yet the still were subject to get rewarded for breathing,sitting,or being on time,through teachers and coaches.This has led to all these children to be very self absorbed,lazy,and a overwhelming sense of intitlement.children live what they learn so it does not surprise me that you have to work with sticker sheets.But i am glad you are there maybe you can show them that the pride of doing a job well done is far more sastisfactory then a sheet of paper filled with stickers.
thank you for letting me write my own colum in response lesley
Jessica Sieghart
12:18 pm on Sunday, June 19, 2011
Hi Lesley! I like the "hot buttons" and when people write their own columns in response to what I've written. It leads to better discussions. I, too, was a little surprised when my kids played soccer and everyone on every team got trophies. On the one hand, I like that everybody plays and I do think it does reinforce the "it doesn't matter if you win or lose, it's how you play" in regard to sportsmanship. If there's one thing I can't stomach about my kids and sports, it's all the trash talking. (obviously, though, giving everyone a trophy didn't end that phenomenon). I've had an instance where my daughter was awarded extra credit points for showing up to class. I was astounded. You're supposed to show up to class, right? I mean, that's not something that needs rewarding. I love The Stickers I work with. They're a lot of fun (although sometimes I feel REALLY old listening to them talk). It just shocks me how differently we go about doing things. Thanks for the column, Lesley! I love hearing everyone's opinions.
Charles Gulotta
6:43 pm on Sunday, June 19, 2011
It's amazing how quickly things seem to have changed in a matter of one generation. The "or else" philosophy withered and died because people figured out that it was all a bluff. That's why millions of teenagers and young adults ignore the copyright warnings and download movies illegally without a second thought -- if they can take it for free, then it belongs to them. Meanwhile, you and I race to the video store to return rentals on time, even without the threat of late fees. And we fall over ourselves thanking people for simply doing their jobs. It seems to be about values, and as you've noticed, those values are changing.
You continue to produce well-written, thought-provoking columns week after week, Jessica. There may not be any trophies or stickers for that, but I hope you can still feel the appreciation. Thank you.
Jessica Sieghart
8:09 pm on Sunday, June 19, 2011
Charles, it's funny that you mention thanking people fOr doing their jobs. This topic is on my mind today, obviously, and when I went to the grocery store, the girl who checked me out was wearing a name tag adorned in stickers like "Employee of The Month". I realized after the transaction that I thanked HER for ringing me up but she hadn't said a word to me. No hello, no thank you...nothing. I suppose I'd rather have nothing than the canned word tracks I'm starting to hear at a lot of places now. They sound really insincere. I often wonder how it changed so quickly. I keep thinking this had to start with our generation somehow.
If I'm writing well week after week it's because I am inspired by other great writers just like you. I don't need trophies or stickers. These fabulous comments I get from my loyal readers are better than that ;) thanks, Charles!
Elaine Pascual
1:27 am on Monday, June 20, 2011
I always enjoy your column, Jessica! It is so timely for me, since I recently took my kids to the store to purchase reward stickers. We plan to use them to encourage reading and other tasks that need a little incentive during these lazy days of summer. My kids are still young, and I do not expect to "bribe" them for the rest of their lives. They are expected to pick up their own clothes and clean up their spots at the dining table without reward. Tasks such as emptying the dishwasher and helping fold laundry are rewarded with a "Thank you" and a hug. On the other hand, I always appreciate the "Thank you for making lunch, Mommy!" even though it was something I was expected to do.
Jessica Sieghart
6:39 am on Monday, June 20, 2011
HI Elaine! That's exactly an example of what I used reward stickers for, too! I don't know if they still do this at the elementary schools, but during the school year, the kids were able to earn a Great America ticket for completing a reading list and I'd encourage the summer reading with whatever little program of my own I came up with. With all of the distractions out there now, computers, cable TV, internet, video games, it's hard to get kids to want to read a book! (which is sad for me because I think reading a book is the most entertaining of them all) If you haven't already noticed, I tend to write to the extreme examples to get my point across ;) Those "thank you, Mommy's" go a long way toward heart warming, right? They're still one of my favorite things. Thank you, Elaine, for reading my column and for taking the time to comment and share your story.
Sheri
7:13 pm on Monday, June 20, 2011
LOVE your columns! My parents never overtly threatened. My mother would look at us & the skin on her face pulled back - it was time to do whatever had been asked of us. I have no idea what she would have done if we didn't obey. My parents also allowed us to suffer the consequences of our poor choices. I vividly remember refusing to do a report in 4th grade. I literally sat in my doorway every day after school for a week with my arms folded. The teacher was more lenient than my parents & gave me an extension, but I learned my lesson. As I got older, my mother made sure that I knew that if I were ever arrested, I would be spending a night in jail before she bailed me out. After age 18, she reminded me that as an adult I had to make my own decisions & accept the consequences. I guess it worked (never arrested & no poor choices that led to permanent consequences) :)
I'm sure I used some "sticker motivation" with my kids, but not much. You do what you are supposed to do. I am lucky in that they are usually self motivated. They get very upset because they work hard, yet everyone else also gets an award. My kids are far from perfect and regularly test me, but they know what is expected of them and what the consequences are of not living up to their responsibilities. They also know the rewards of doing the right thing, and usually choose that route. I do use positive reinforcement, but it is "do what you HAVE to, THEN you get to do what you want." Thanks for making me think.
Jessica Sieghart
10:14 pm on Monday, June 20, 2011
Hi Sheri! That's an interesting point. I do remember,ber hearing "or else" a handful of times, but for the most part, I just knew based on a look my mom would give. I don't think I have a "look" like that. I should ask the kids and find out. We, too, suffered the consequences of our actions. No doubt about that. I'm also more of a do what you're supposed to do parent, although I will say the amount of encouragement (ok, nagging) does vary with each kid. Nobody's kids are perfect. Who'd want that anyway? They'd be rather dull, I think. Here's to thinking, Sheri. I've been accused of thinking too much. This column is the perfect outlet to share my thoughts and learn from others. thank you for reading and for your insight every week ;)