Is She Being Abused? Here's How To Tell And How To Help

In the United States, women have a one in four chance of being raped and/or physically assaulted in their lifetime by a current or former partner, and they account for 85% of all domestic violence victims.  

In real numbers, that translates to 5.3 million female victims aged 18 and older and nearly two million injuries every year. More than 25% of those injuries are serious enough to warrant medical attention, making domestic violence a leading cause of emergency room visits for women in the U.S.

These women are 80% more likely to have a stroke, 70% more likely to develop heart disease, 60% more likely to have asthma and 70% more likely to drink heavily than those who have not experienced domestic violence.

We also know that female victims who speak to a health care professional about their abuse are four times more likely to take advantage of intervention services and nearly three times more likely to leave an abusive relationship.

That’s why Advocate Lutheran General Hospital gives every patient the opportunity to report domestic violence, regardless of their reason for being at the hospital. Nurses are required to ask questions about physical and emotional abuse as part of a preliminary assessment.

If a patient reports abuse or a nurse suspects that a patient is being abused, the unit’s social worker will be called in to speak with the patient and evaluate whether domestic violence is an issue.

Psychologists and social workers are available seven days a week in the emergency room, providing a compassionate ear to patients, assisting them in making decisions about pressing charges, locating a safe place to stay, and connecting them with community resources.

But, the reality is that domestic violence is still very much underreported.

Most people just don’t know how to really tell if a friend or loved one is being abused or they don’t know how to help. We’ve compiled some of the most important information and tools that everyone should know about domestic violence.

Recognizing the Signs

Domestic abuse often begins with stalking, harassment and manipulation before progressing into physical and/or sexual violence. Recognizing the signs of an abusive relationship can be difficult because victims often mask bruises and emotions out of shame.

Start by paying attention to behavioral cues:

• No longer making eye contact
• Gradual isolation and distancing from friends
• Making excuses for partner’s behavior
• No longer speaking for herself (partner insists on speaking for her)

Use your RADAR

As social workers, we use a screening tool, called RADAR, to determine if someone is a victim of abuse and needs help. It can easily be adjusted for anyone to reference.

R = ROUTINE: Check in regularly to most effectively identify changes in behavior and physical appearance. Noticing a change once is not as convincing as noticing the same change over time.

A = ASK DIRECT QUESTIONS: Don’t wait for someone to say that they are in an abusive relationship. Ask questions directly in a compassionate way, for example:

• I have noticed you have a number of bruises; did someone do this to you?
• Do you feel safe at home?
• Are you being physically hurt or threatened?

If the response to any of those questions is “yes”, find out as much information as possible, validate the victim’s experiences and emotion, and ask what she wants to do about it.

D = DOCUMENT: Write down what you observe and all information gathered. If physical abuse is suspected, keep track of bruises using a body map.

A = ASSESS SAFETY: Find out if there is a weapon in the home, if there are children or pets, or if there is a fear of returning home.

R = RESOURCES: Know what resources are available to victims of domestic violence and share them whenever appropriate.

• Life Span (Des Plaines): (847) 824-4454
• Mujeres Latinas en Accion (Chicago): (312) 738-5358
• Sarah’s Inn (Oak Park): (708) 386-4225
• WINGS (Palatine): (847) 221-5680
• Korean Women in Need (Chicago): (773) 583-0880
• Polish American Association (Chicago): (773) 282-8206