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Woman Tells Cops She'd Prefer Pregnancy Test to a Sobriety Test: OMGPD

Hospital loses 5 tanks of "hippie crack" and a man dumps a dog in the trash — recent reports in the annals of Chicagoland crime-n-shame.

OMGPD, a collection of Patch Chicago's weird and noteworthy crime, posts weekly.

Drinking for Two? A 23-year-old Tinley Park woman pulled over for an expired registration refused to submit to a roadside sobriety test after officers smelled alcohol in her car and noticed her cheeks were flushed red, but she twice offered to take a pregnancy test instead. Police declined.
Orland Park Patch

High Five: Five "giant" tanks of nitrous oxide — known on the street as "hippie crack" and whip-its — were pilfered from an Evanston hospital on May 21 by a man who pretended to be from a medical supply company. He made his getaway in a beige family truckster.
Evanston Patch

Trash Man: A Joliet man, Michael Allen, 36, was seen dumping a small brown dog into a trash can in front of his house. Cops were called. They retrieved the dog and took the pup to animal welfare officials. They also took the trash to jail.
Joliet Patch

Today's Lesson in Crime Prevention: After walking out of a Wilmette school with $14,500 in computers, cameras and calculators, a helpful thief left a note behind on a dry-erase board: "Lock yo doors."
Wilmette Patch

Suite Hearts: If you're going to spend a romantic night at an Essence Suites with your girlfriend, make sure your estranged wife cannot find you. An Indiana woman tracked down her hubby at the Orland Park Essence Suites and fibbed her way into getting a room key from the front-desk attendant. A few minutes after giving her the key, the attendant saw squad cars roll up. The woman had attacked her estranged husband in his room as he slept. Even as Orland Park police held her at bay, she continued to try to snap photographs of the room with her cell phone, saying she needed evidence for divorce court.
Orland Park Patch

Easy Targets: A pizza deliveryman and a Chinese food deliveryman were robbed in the same block within days of each other in Bolingbrook. The pizza heist netted $15, pizza and drinks, and the Chinese-food deliveryman was robbed of his cell phone and cash.
Bolingbrook Patch

Think Before You Fink: An Orland Park mom who called the cops on her son, accusing him of stealing her computer monitor, ended up in cuffs herself after police discovered the mom herself had a warrant for failure to appear in court.
Orland Park Patch

Acid Tongue: A contractor hired to pour a concrete foundation for a Downers Grove home became irate when he was fired in the middle of the job. The homeowner told police the contractor threatened to throw acid in her face and have "people from Chicago" break all her windows. The woman asked police to be at the house when the contractor returned to get his equipment.
Downers Grove Patch


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