A loving, caring, charitable, benign, tolerant, educated, astute, prolific, well-read, literate, pro-American, teabag using, traveled,  choreographically challenged, agile, cuddly, skilled  and talented reader and interpreter of newspaper articles. And a very humble person...you can bet your bottom dollar on that (that is, if you have any dollars left from the "change" you were promised). 

Supreme Pontiff of the Midwestern Baal Worshippers Temple.

Able to leap tall buildings in a single bound while correctly identifying the foibles of humanity and pompous, arrogant politicians who proudly parade their egotistical nonsense; they are experts about the future but can do little with the present, often taking credit for what someone else has accomplished.

Known to haunt libraries, museums and the halls of power.

Kent doth saith: "The keyboard is mightier than the sword."